During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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