Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
