he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
