: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
