I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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