I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
