put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
