New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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