ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
