i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
