he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize