So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Let's get the cat blown out
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
