Dual....:-)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
