he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.