its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.