He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.