How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again