the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course