At least make sure they are 18
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.