Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!