also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way