He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
we're so committed to being not committed
You ruined the universe
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
