I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
