Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
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i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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