foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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