so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize