I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize