Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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