The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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