Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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