Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
