I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
