weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
