So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She told me I should be a condom model.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize