it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
