Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
