just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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