I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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