I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
