Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
