idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
