i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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