Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
