i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
