y did u give ur computer a hand job?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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