i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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