There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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