so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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