The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it's like iHOP with fire
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
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I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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