Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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