i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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