Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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