i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
