My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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