I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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