I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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