when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I love you. Go after that dick
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
