i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
