wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
