The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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