Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
