i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
