sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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