i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
