i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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