i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
