Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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