I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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