I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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