You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
