I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
