my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
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