how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
